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Friday, April 18, 2014

Bible Crossword Puzzles - The Vow of a Nazarite

Bible Word Search Puzzles - The Vow of a Nazarite

Sunday, February 23, 2014

The Joke's Vengeance

    A pastor, known for his sense of humor, was attending a conference whose aim was to encourage and equip pastors for ministry. Getting in his turn, and having won the audience's attention, he said, bluntly:
    - The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!
    The audience was stunned! He, continuing, said:
- And that woman was my mother!
    Everyone burst into laughter, and the pastor ended his sermon with much success.
    The next week, going to preach elsewhere, he decided to repeat the joke. As he walked to the pulpit that Sunday, he tried to remember the joke in his mind, but his memory was not cooperating. Reaching to the microphone, he spoke, loudly:
    - The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!
    The audience was shocked! After getting stood there for about ten seconds in silence, trying to remember the other half of his joke, finally, he spoke:
    - And I can not remember who she was!

A Special Find

    The little boy opened, fascinated, the big old family Bible, and watched closely at the aged pages. Suddenly something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and peered. It was an old grape leaf that was long ago clamped between the pages.
    - Mom, look what I found. - Said the boy.
    - What you get there, dear? - His mother said.
    With astonishment in his voice, he answered:
    - I think it's the clothes of Adam!

A Hymn To Close the Meeting

    The preacher was completing a very serious sermon about being temperate, and with a severe expression, he said:
    - If I were the owner of all the beer in the world, I would pick it up and throw in the river!
With even greater emphasis he said:
    - And if I were the owner of all the wine in the world, I 'd take it and throw in the river.
    Finally he said:
    - What if I was the owner of all the whiskey that exists in the world? I 'd take it and throw in the river.
    Having thus concluded his sermon, he sat down and watched the audience.
    The man who was driving the praise cautiously announced with a smile:
    - Brothers, to adjourn the meeting we will sing hymn # 370: " We Should Gather on the Edge of the River"

Mess in the Church

    Certain Sunday, in the church of a small town, that little boy was making a mess during the morning service. His parents were doing the best they could to keep him quiet, but the kid was getting the better. Finally, the father picked up the smart guy by the arm and led him decidedly out of the church.
    Just before reaching the exit, the little one looked back and spoke out loudly to the congregation:
    - Pray for me! Pray for me!

An Important event

    A woman goes with his 16 year old daughter to visit the doctor. He asks:
    - Okay, Mrs. Frazier, what the problem is with the girl?
    The mother says:
    - This is my daughter, Gertrud. She always has these weird cravings for strange things, is increasing weight and feel sick every morning.
    The doctor gives a good look at Gertrud, then turns to the mother and says:
    - Well, I do not know how to communicate this to you, but your daughter is pregnant. About four months now, I suppose.
    The mother, looking terrified, says:
    - Pregnant! It's impossible, she never even stood alone with a man!
    - It is as you say, Mom! I've never kissed a man in all my life! - says the girl.
    The doctor walks to the window and stares out. Five minutes pass and, finally, the mother says:
    - Is there something wrong out there, doctor?
    The doctor replies:
    - No, not really. It turns out that the last time something like that happened a star appeared in the east, and three wise men on camels came across the mountains. I do not want to miss it this time.